May. 1st, 2017 09:01 am
xp_angel: (hmm?)
Bobbi promised me a home cooked dinner. Something with love. Something foreign. Something that would fill me with warm, happy feelings.

What the fuck is this?

xp_angel: (i'm awesome smile)
I forgot my birthday since I was travelling and making money.

I have thus decided to decree this week my birthday week, due to compounding interest. I mean, really, it should be my birthday for the whole month, but I'm being humble.

Let the birthday greetings begin!
xp_angel: (too cool)
I feel like spending an obscene amount on a completely wasteful idea.

Any suggestions?
xp_angel: (too cool)
Right. So.

I have no idea who fixed my phone/computer/whatever to call me a 'pinprick buttfucker' but I have a few choice things to say.

1) haha

2) grow up

3) A human being couldn't have an anus the size of a pinprick. They'd explode.

4) Obligatory 'my penis is enormous' comment. I'm too stressed to put any effort into this comeback, my assistant is off on vacation and Bobbi refuses to be witty on my behalf.


May. 13th, 2016 08:00 pm
xp_angel: (too cool)
my google search history tonight:

best chocolate cake recipes
how to explain sex to a 15 year old
jungle book showtimes

I wonder if I'm on a watchlist now


Mar. 29th, 2016 07:15 pm
xp_angel: (hmm?)
This world, my friends, is a cruel place. It is not the jive, free love, environment we all expected to grow into.

It is a place where one's selfish assistant decides to throw their engagement party during the most important global conference of the year.

I ask you -- how am I expected to be my debonair self if I'm responsible for the day to day tedium of taking care of myself?

The horror.

Love me

Feb. 10th, 2016 01:39 pm
xp_angel: (i'm awesome smile)
A friendly reminder that today, the greatest of days, my mother gave birth to a literal angel.

In honour of my day, I demand the glory that I deserve.

A few suggestions, if you're struggling to think of a birthday gift:

- A golden idol of myself
- Chocolate eclaires
- Grapes. Pre-peeled, of course
- Chocolates
- A life-size model of Pamela Anderson, circa 1990
- Chocolate covered strawberries

Remember: today doesn't end until 11:59 p.m.

Plenty of time.

A thought

Oct. 29th, 2015 12:05 pm
xp_angel: (hmm?)
I'm thinking of going as myself to the Hallowe'en party. I think I meet all the requirements -- horrible? Absolutely. Historical? Better believe it. Amazing? That goes without saying.

A philosophical thought for the day: If Warren does something, and no one is appalled, did he do anything at all?
xp_angel: (too cool)
A poem in honour of last night:

Barton is boring.
Rum, and strip monopoly?
Slightly less boring

As usual, I feel that I played a fair game and dominated. I still think there should be a hostile takeover option.

Also, I can't find my socks.
xp_angel: (grin)
My colleagues. Friends. Acquaintances.

I feel bereft. It has been too long since I mingled amongst you.

I don't know who is dating who. I don't know if I actually care, mind you, but it's nice to know.

Tell me what you've all been up to lately. Five letters or less.

I'll start:

I fell madly in love.
xp_angel: (too cool)
If you're wondering why it suddenly smells so much better here, it's because I'm back, as rich as ever.

I know you were all worried about that.

I will now be relaxing in the nude somewhere in the mansion. You've all been warned.
xp_angel: (too cool)
Underwear vs swimwear.

Strange concept. Both look the same, and yet only one is socially acceptable in public.

Ladies -- and men (I'm a feminist. Equality for all.)

Let's change this.


I've got mine on.
xp_angel: (hmm?)


Cross-posted from Twitter
xp_angel: (sunglasses cool)
For those of you wondering -- yes, that is a croquembouche in the kitchen.

Help yourself.

You're welcome.


Feb. 23rd, 2015 04:52 pm
xp_angel: (too cool)
I've been told to introduce myself; however I feel I have met quite a few of you already.

I'm Warren Worthington the Third.

The tabloid stories are all true.


xp_angel: (Default)
Warren Worthington III

June 2017

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